Another beginning

I was actually going to do some homework, but I think this is more important because at this place, every second I don't spend blogging becomes a complete paragraph I'm going to have to write later on.

I got here almost at midnight, on a Sunday, the 24th of August. I was meant to start the preorientation program the next day. A preorientation program for international students: OIS. Everyone was incredibly excited and eager and all that shit. I was too, really. I mean, not that much, and many times I had to just escape from a circle of people talking about how awesome these 4 years were going to be. Or a circle of drunk/high people that have never been drunk/high before. Or a circle of people who just have never lived by themselves and therefore don't even know how to separate their laundry. In any case, I enjoyed myself during those first days. It was very UWC-ish actually. I mean, a bunch of international kids living in a school. I partied, made prospective friends (freshmen, sophomores, juniors and seniors), and talked a lot about myself. Like everyone did. I have to admit that at times this weird feeling invaded me. This "I still can go back to Venezuela and do medicine if I want - there's still time". It really frightened me. Particularly because I was completely alone in a place that was sort of a rip-off UWC camp, but also because I wasn't sure yet that I belonged. Damned insecurities.

Then Camp Yale started. That'd be the actual orientation for all students. As in, now we, the internationals and the other freshmen that had been to other preorientation programs would go accordingly to their residential colleges to another bunch of meetings and introductory stuff. It was mainly sex-ed. Still fun and relaxed. I got to move to my actual room, since I had been staying somewhere else temporarily during OIS. It is actually a suite, which means: a bathroom, a common room, and in my case 5 singles and 1 double room. I'm in the double, of course. Karmic energy. My roommate is actually the best person of the suite. I know it was predictable that I would hate them all, but still, I wanted to give them a chance as the nice person I am. They blew it. But it's ok, it's not like we have to see/talk to each other frequently. I say good morning. And I'm a bitch in the mornings. They should know how much that means.

But the people here are ok. I know I was very skeptical but they're actually fine. My closest friends, I admit, are mostly international. European, that is to say. British, French and Canadian. There are lots of Americans that I enjoy hanging out with, but most only have one thing that's interesting about them or are complete bitches. No exception found so far. But then again, that's ok. I did not come to this place to make yet more friends. Maybe connections, though.

What is very different at this place is that it actually feels like living by myself. Things are far away from each other. I have to walk a lot. There are streets and cars and shops. You can go out for dinner. You have to pay for things. For everything, really. In those, let's say, urban respects, life here is different. Different as in, it requires more maturity. Norway was easier to live in. Here my room is surprisingly more uncomfortable though emptier and I don't think I've quite settled in yet. I need to find a method. So far it's ok, but I still feel like I waste time doing lots of thins or that I don't have a system. I've left my keys -yes, there are keys-, and my wallet, and my maps and my books everywhere. I have got to stop that, I know. Or actually, I should forget about the maps.

Party-wise, though, it's been crazy. Before classes started there was one every single night. Like 4 actually. Every single night. I went to frat parties, I drank beer out of a red cup, I grinded. Oh, gosh. For real.

And now I'm here, I started classes this Wednesday and I'm not happy about them. It's not real classes, as in, no one has signed up for them yet, but you can just go around and check out the courses you may like.

And here starts the drama.

I'm an allegedly premed student. I'm supposed to take science courses and like them. But I hate them. Math sucks. I'm sorry, it just does. And the building I've been to is just SO FUCKING warm that it makes it even more unbearable to breath while attempting to follow the professor's explanation. Because they're all either +80 years old or non-native English speakers. ALL OF THEM. SERIOUSLY. So, I'm not taking calculus next semester. Just because I have to, at least as far as I want to do med. Hopefully it will be chilly in January. Because right now I'm semi naked writing this because of the temperature. And every single time I get into my room I have to undress because otherwise I'd most probably melt. I'm not kidding. Caracas has a less stuffy atmosphere. The Amazonian rain fucking forest has a less stuffy atmosphere than New Haven.

In any case, these two weeks (until next Friday) are called shopping period and we're allowed to go to all classes we want/can go and check them out in order to decide which ones we'll be taking. It is actually a very good idea. But it can also just mess you up, like it did to me. I hated calculus and I'm not taking it now. Which is probably a big mistake because I'm postponing something I don't want to do and have to. But anyway, I went to Intro to Political Science; Brain and Though (a psychology-related class); Microeconomics; Macroeconomics; European Literature; Sex, Power and World Dominance; Film Studies and some others... and loved them. So, so much. Then I went to Chemistry and I couldn't even understand it. I went to Mandarin II and I felt like a retard. I went to Mandarin I and still felt sort of like a retard. I considered taking Greek or even Persian but I can't see the point. So far I'm staying with and advanced Inorganic Chemistry class (that fulfills my science requirement even if I change my mind about premed - God forbids), a writing seminar (and English class basically, but very small and about a specific topic the whole semester - Illness and Disease in my case) and Mandarin. I decided to suck it up and be awesome at it. And probably even go to China in the summer. That's only 3 classes, yeah yeah, but they're worth 4 credits in total. And that's what they recommend you to do as a freshman during your first semester. I'm going to try to slip in a seminar on Human Reproduction taught by Harvey Kliman himself, because even though I wasn't picked by the class (apparently random selection) he said I should come and he'll then decide who stays. I'll be there.

Then, extracurricularly, I'm definitely doing three things: research in a lab, the Yale Daily News (for which I'm already writing my first piece) and something else I don't know yet. It could be a performance thing, a sport (what?) or a debate-related thing. I haven't decided about these either, but what can I do. I know I'm not going to follow the UWC approach and pretend I can do everything, because I really can't. So I'll just check those out and let you know later.

I just hope I stop being a retard and make up my mind about my future.

Oh, yeah, and I'm missing y'all.