Past the tempest

It's done. The reign of terror of the Spirit of Silence is over. Like, I wrote my last post more than month ago and there has (obviously?) been a lot to tell. Blog worthy stuff? Sure. Did any of it make it to the blog? Nope, as you can see. There were some drafts that I will put up soon, probably tonight, that also never made it online. Sad.

Not really.

It's so much better now. Like, not my life. But writing about it. What I mean is, I don't know what could probably have happened this summer that I now feel as though I'm 5 times better. I could say mature. I could say responsible, or organized, or focused. But it's not really any one of those things in particular. The most specific way I find to describe how I see myself today is just as a better human being. And I didn't not write on the blog for this longer-than-a-month period consciously. I knew I was not writing, it pained me knowing that I had forgotten this little mirror into the world, but still, my absence now feels like it makes sense. It makes sense to have just climbed a mountain of confusion, mixed feelings and disorder - a hill of entropy. Now that I'm on the other side I can only look back and thank God I didn't put into writing any of those things.

Not like what happened was traumatic or in any sense tangibly seismic in my life. It was pretty much the absolute contrary. I don't even know if something really did happen. To make myself clear, I just feel like living is easier now. I know what I have and I need. I know what I have to do. Do I act accordingly? Most of the times, yes. Not always - I don't really need to. Spontaneity is good. Now every little department of my vie quotidienne has a point and fits quite well in a time-space continuum of academic, extracurricular, personal, and work life.

So much bullshit. But bear with me.

So, once I realized that, another quasi-epiphany popped up in my head like one of those stupid internet ads. Does anyone know? Does anyone I care about know? Angela probably does. Andrea probably does. Nick too. What about the rest? We don't talk, really. Like, ever. It's a little sad. I miss them. I should do something. What? A list? Right. A list, of course. I'll write a list of, how many? 20 items that define my character today. And then I'll send it, unchanged, to all of them. All those who I want to let know that, well, I'm all those things in the list now. But no, it won't be a list of things I now like, or enjoy doing. It's more like an existentialist list (as much as I'd like to avoid being associated to anything existentialist). A list of things I do, or places I go and people I live with. It's probably much better to say this things and let the world judge me than pretend I can write who I am and be anything near accurate.

The list. Here it is.

1) I'm 20 at the moment. Just in case.
*) I still wear skinny jeans and items of clothing of the sort. To describe my style, I guess I could say I look decent. Yeah, "decent" is the word.
3) I'm taking organic chemistry (and lab), physics (and lab), math, and French. It's all good. My homework consists mainly of problem sets, lab reports and language exercises. I haven't had a midterm yet, so that's probably why bad things haven't happened.
4) I work at the Yale University Art Gallery (at the reception desk, greeting people, answering phone calls, selling memorabilia - nothing artsy) and a biomedical engineering lab (as an undergrad researcher - my name will be on a paper soon. I will let you know.) Then I volunteer at a hospital some Saturdays as an interpreter and I write for the "Arts and Living" section of the Yale Daily News. I'm going to do an EMT course at some point (you may want to Google that) and I think I will apply to become an editor of a desk in the newspaper.
6) Lauren Motzkin is probably the most important person in my daily life.
7) I also do costumes for some plays. I've worked on two so far, but I am actually going to be the Costumes Designer for a play this fall. I should be exhausting, but good.
8) Apparently people find me intimidating, funny, ridiculous, amusing, endearing. (I just asked the people around me.)
9) I have a huge accent. I noticed the very first hour I spent at this country. But people tend to congratulate me on my English. It's a little confusing.
10) I'm in Morse College at Yale. Our mascot is the Walrus. Our chant goes: "Morse! Morse! Hung like a horse!
11) My GPA is 3.47 and I think I'm ok with it.
12) I met a girl called Chandler. She's a freshman from the UK and I kind of want to date her. Like, for real. Not just sex.
13) I think I'm going to France (Paris) this summer.
14) My fave five contacts on my phone are: Lauren Motzkin (from Arizona), Linda Chang (from New Jersey), Angela Stempel (From Venezuela, now in Boston), Ramy Goueli (from Michigan), David Mogilner (from the UK).
15) I get around 50 emails per day. It's a little obnoxious. But I like it. A lot.
16) A grad student was murdered in the lab where I work (see 4). Her body was found there yesterday.
17) I have a roommate. He's kind of unimportant, which is sad. His name is Andy Hackbarth and he plays varsity soccer. He's nice. Just not interested in being my friend. I guess that's why he's number 17.
18) I need a new MacBook Pro and and iPhone. My current laptop is too fucked up in that way laptops get fucked up. My current phone just sucks. Oh, my number is 203 466 9104. I'm T-Mobile.
19) I go out on Fridays and Saturdays. I drink beer, wine and vodka. I don't do pot (anymore). I go to frat parties, house parties, residential college parties, suite parties and naked parties. Well, I haven't been to a naked party yet. But I will. This semester.
20) I'm sending this to other people. Don't judge me.

Number two was deliberately modified. I still want to get a job one day.